Love and Marriage

It is normally seen that love vanishes after marriage and the romance that was there during courtship ends abruptly with wedlock. Ever wondered why? Are you also experiencing such a situation where the things that used to be 'sooooo cute' have now started becoming 'urkk!! How disgusting'?

Is your love life getting a little stale? Are you taking each other for granted? Well if that's the case then you need to find out the reasons and try to analyze what is going wrong. You have to take time out for love. Our list of ways to put the romance back in your love life will have your mate wondering and falling for you all over again. ma garateen. Hope these instructions help you in bringing back the romance in your life:

Tell your partner ama xaaskaaga how much you love him/her. Though you think its not necessary coz you are married and are living together that will naturally imply that you love one another. But believe me its not enough. It's often taken for granted but its nice to hear those magical words 'I Love You' once in a while. waan ku jeclahey aboowe iyo abaayo see waaye.

Show genuine interest in your loved one. Don't take things for granted. Don't think that if things appear to be ok, they are ok. Show that you care and reveal to your love that he/she is important to you. Ask how his/her day was and if there is anything you can do to help.

There may be many negative points in your partner and you might hate them but that's no solution. Concentrate on the positive. Make a list of what you love about each other. Love can make all the negative qualities vanish. Dulqaad yeel walaal yaah.

Make time to be alone together
Togetherness is very important in a relationship and even if you are very busy you ought to spend some quiet time with your love. What I mean by quiet time is: No television, no kids, and no distractions. Go out on a romantic date at least twice in a month. This is very essential for maintaining a healthy relationship. waaxs ma qaano ha orana walaal ka kac fadhiga dee.

Go out on a vacation once in six months. That way you can forget all the tensions and just freak out with your love. Just one day vacation is enough if you can't get more, yaah

Get intimate
Give your mate a long kiss mac ah. I mean a passionate kiss like the ones when you were dating. Get cozy with him. Be in his/her arms and enjoy each other's company without worrying about work, kids, deadlines etc. Forget everything else adiga iyo aniga mooyeeee.

Extend a helpful hand and do the household chores and do it together. This way you will ensure that it's the family of the two of you and you have to be responsible towards everything. Waryaa xaaska caawi oo cuntada kari oo musqusha nadiife yaah.

Learn to laugh together
Laughter is the cure of many ailments and it will make you feel good too. Laughter can reduce your risk of heart disease and high blood pressure also. ila qosol walaal dee oo afka ha noo kuusin.

Make every day count
Your being together is a special thing in itself so make it special in every way. For a week do something special for the other person. Whether it is a phone call, special dinner or time alone, doing something out of the ordinary is a sure fire way to show your love how much you care.

Surprise your loved one
Cook his/her favorite meal, go to some movie and pick her/him up from his/her office, give him/her a surprise gift, plan a date and make it special. waryaa dheh

Make a tape of your favorite songs. Music is universal and can bring back loving memories with the first played notes. Remember the music you used to love and how you felt. caashaqii baan la ciirtoo cagahii baa i cuslaadoo sidii nin curyaan baan guur guurtaa dheh yaah.

Say it with flowers
Send flowers to him/her in his/her office. Say that you love him/her with flowers and it will surely bring all the love that had faded back into your life. Nasiibkaa saaxiib ama abaayo. If you do those stuff and it works for you, drop me a line and say "mahadsanid Duqa"

Have You Killed Your Baby?

Ever since the beginning of time, men and women have figured out ways in which they could get rid of their unwanted babies in that critical period when the baby is still in the womb…and ever since the beginning of time there have been moral people who have condemned the practice of murdering your unborn child.

Maybe some would go yeah the Jews did not agree with it, but it was not only them; there was even an ancient Greek physician named Hippocrates, a person that know nothing of the Lord or of the scriptures; he realized that an unborn baby is still a baby that has life and should not be messed with.

When Christianity became known throughout the west, the killing of unborn babies became outlawed in the nations that called themselves civilized. It is these very civilized nations that are responsible for taking the lives of unborn children…hundreds and thousands of babies are murdered every year under the excuse that a mother should have the right to decide. Acuudu bilaahi dheh saaxiib dee.

A woman has the right to decide not to have childrenor caruur but until when? There are plenty of methods specifically designed to stop the possibility of having a child, not to mention the different operations that can be performed. acuudu bilaahi ma digaag bey qalayaan toloow.

The minute that a woman has lost the right to decide is the moment when she becomes pregnant, then she is not dealing with some sperm that might unite with the egg, in that moment she is dealing with a life.

If she takes that life away she has committed murder, and even though the law might not do anything to her now here in America, one day she will stand before the lord, Allah and have to explain to Him why it is that she took a life, especially since that is one responsibility that the Lord keeps for Himself.

Ever since abortion became legal it is estimated that over 30 million babies have been killed in the United States alone, not to mention that it is estimated that over 1.5 billion abortions have been performed worldwide since 1970. The sad thing is that most people that support abortion do not even realize what it is that they are in fact supporting…

The most popular method of abortion is the suction method, this is used during the first three months of the baby’s development, and this is where they take a tube connected to a suction device, they put it in the mother’s womb and the powerful suction tears the bay’s body into pieces.

Another method is the D and C method this is also used in the first three months of life. In this method they take a knife and scrape the womb to cut the attachment of the baby to the mother, the babies body is then cut into pieces and the head crushed so that it can fit through the opening of the womb. Oh, Aaloow ha nagu darin maaiiin kuwaas xaruurta qalaya.

The D and E method is used during 3 and 5 months, a pair of forceps is inserted into the womb where they dismember the baby’s body and taken out through the birth canal, the body is then reassembled to make sure that everything was gotten out.

Another way is through salt poisoning, a salt solution is injected into the amniotic sac where it is inhaled and swallowed by the baby, this causes a slow painful death caused by hemorrhaging, shock and burning of the skin.

There are two more types of Abortion that are performed in the last three months. The first is when the baby is brought into the world using a cesarean section, the baby is removed form the womb and set aside to die from neglect.

The other is when the child is born naturally on time, the only difference is that he is born feet first and when it comes time for the head to come out they make a hole in the base of the head and use a suction device to take the brain out.

How people can support such a thing is beyond me, I just don’t understand a person that would do such a thing to her child; I mean I am sitting here sick to my stomach just having to write about it. acuudu bilaahi dheh yaakhey

It is indeed murder according to our islamic diin and because I mentioned it, Allah also brings a solution to this. If you are a woman who has been trough such a painful experience-abortion- and you probably didn’t realize back then the implications of what you decided to do, Allah wants you to know that in spite of what you did, He wants to give you His forgiveness and freedom in your heart.

Allah is willing to give you a complete pardon so, don’t hesitate to ask that from Him. This is pain is so deep that only Allah Himself has the power to set you free.

What if I did it several times? I know women who have done it several times and deep inside their hearts, there is an open wound of deep regret, remorse and pain. Regardless of how many times you might have had an abortion, now that you know it is a murder, simply stop and ask Allah to heal your heart, to forgive you.

He surely will! He wants to restore your whole being and the guilt feeling will be erased forever! This is not a story, this is reality, ask Allah and you will see the difference for yourself! But abaayo don't kill more babies yaah.

If you are considering an abortion as being the solution for a terrible amount of shame, let me tell you, the pain of having had an abortion is greater by far! You might be a part of a background where having a baby before marriage is regarded as unacceptable but, to choose to repair a mistake with an even greater one, is not a wise decision.

Don’t let desperation blind you, Allah will provide and if you can’t afford taking care of your baby, there are plenty of people who want to adopt! aniga isii dee anaa rabee ciyaal badan walaahi dee. Please abaayo don't kill your baby, and as a muslim, you have an obligation Allah's rule"Don't kill anyone including your baby"

A Good Friend

Fragile creatures are we humans. After all what is needed to get us hurt? A faint laugh of ridicule…a harsh word…a smile not returned. Often do we fall down during our journey. Often do we get hurt. Most often we dust ourselves off and start again. .

A true friend, according to me, is someone who gives us a helping hand to get us back on our feet, pats off the dust from our back and revitalizes us for the journey ahead. Yaah Saaxiib The world we live in is not as simple as it seems, nor is the millions of emotions that pass thru our minds every instant, what remains…what is perceived by us are not the tiny spots of black and white but the whole picture.

No one is perfect. But sometimes these very imperfections are what make friends closer. These are the very black spots that make the picture beautiful. A friend is not necessarily the best person around, but they are those around whom we are the best.

We don’t really choose our friends, we just fall into company. We may know a lot of people, but there are indeed few around whom we are really comfortable. They needn’t be the most entertaining, or the most compassionate person.

They needn’t even be of the same age group. Sometimes friendship really is a means of escape. An escape from the problems at work or at home. An escape from the harsh, inescapable realities that hound our daily lives. A cup of shaah or tea with a group of really old, close saaxiibo will do more good at times like these than any advice or words of sympathy.

There are two kinds of friends-the present ones and the old ones. The present friends are those with whom we interact on a day to day basis. We often depend on them for help with our problems and help them with theirs.

They are those with whom we spend most of our time with. They have a great influence on our behavior and our outlook towards society and our lives. Occasionally fights do tend to occur between even close friends.

There is nothing like a good, really intense fight between friends to examine the strength of their friendship. Fights are indeed the acid test as far as friendships are concerned. Those which live thru them live on, closer than before, with a new found vigor.

Above all, present friends are those whom we take for granted. There is nothing like their absence to remind us of them. We never really realize how many friends we have until; somehow, we are made to part.

Old days and old friends are the best, or so the saying goes. There really is nothing like the reunion between old friends. Their sudden presence is what makes our hearts leap. They bring with them the memories of the old days.

There really is no better antidepressant. The warm hugs you exchange on meeting, the of things long thought to be forgotten suddenly spring up in your conversation as if it just happened yesterday, reliving those embarrassing moments that nobody else knows…really, nothing like it.

Man is a social animal. Even today, one of the most terrible known forms of torture is solitary confinement. The pity is in the fact that there are people who inflict this dreadful torture on themselves. They confine themselves in prisons of their own minds; refusing to come out.

The invisible shell that they have surrounded themselves with, though imaginary, is impregnable. Somebody said, the lock to heart’s door is within. Who are our true friends-those few whom we let into our secret worlds and shared our joys and sorrows, our most private sentiments, and listened to theirs-are not actually decided upon by us. They just come…good friends.

Romance

Should the man or woman dominate the relationship? Is there a difference in the nature of how men and women act towards relationships? In a relationship you make a decision. Who will be the provider? Who will be the “Stay at home partner”. I think that the decisions between men and women should be up to those who hold the partnership.

There are many types of relationships that men and women can have. This can affect the role of either man or woman. First there is “Companion love.” You can enjoy the presence of your partner without expecting any kind of commitment.

With this you aren’t always worrying about how each other acts around other people. There is no jealousy involved and little or no obligation. There is also what’s called “unselfish love.” This is what I consider to be a one sided and useless relationship.

One partner gives constantly and expects nothing in return. While the other does nothing to contribute to the relationship. Then there’s what people call “True love”. Each partner gives equally to the other and knows that they can trust each other to the fullest.

Love is not something that you know. It is something that you feel. In each of these partnerships there is a role to be played by each of the two partners. I think that there is no such thing as a completely equal relationship.

I think that one partner will always be the dominant one. Whether it be the woman or the man. Although it does not show on the outside, the man is always more susceptible to the wrath of the other it’s significant other.

That fact aside though, I do think that as a relationship goes on, more equality between partners develops. In my opinion this is because they both learn to trust each other more as time goes on.

So I say that with months years and days equality and trust are following closely behind. To discuss the topic of True Love vs. Romance. Two people who experience true love will be completely devoted to one another, whereas a romantic relationship may only consist of two people who are together and might not even love each other.

Also there is what I like to call the pre-life relationships. The times before you are an adult when you have relationships, in my opinion, are not really meant to last. They are crash courses in love. They just prepare you for what is to come later in life. Just remember one thing. To love is to live. Thank yaakhey and saaxiib feel free to tell us about caashaq yaah

Why Do Women Cheat?

Marriage or guur is a bond between two people who love each other. These are two people, who decide to become one, unite their love, start a family together, and spend the rest of their lives with each other. After explaining the significance of such an immense obligation, the question still remains. Why should a person place their selves in a situation they are not truly committed to?

The answer can be one or many explanations, and just one solution may not always be the case. Love, sex, and confidence are just some of the reasons that women cheat. Some women don’t receive these things from their husbands so they feel the need to search for them in other places.

In the bond of marriage a woman is giving herself to her husband ama ninkeeda. She is offering him all of her love. What happens if the love becomes weak, grows old, or turns sour? She will yearn for romance, or whatever it was that made her happy. She will search for the missing part of her marriage, and the aspects that her husband lacks will be found in another man, cajaaib dheh.

This will be her search to fulfillment or completion. She wants to be dined, courted, and romanced. When she tries to be romantic with her husband, he ignores her and continues to read the newspaper or watch sports on the television.The same degree of love that was there in the beginning of the marriage has slowly depleted. yaab dheh

Small factors in a marriage may lead to bigger problems in the future. If a woman’s husband isn’t into opening doors any more; he may just be closing others. In the discreet world of sex, it is a double standard about women and their sexual desires. It has been said in many different breaths; Men need sex, meanwhile, women are just there to accommodate these needs of the great man.

Women are sexual and desire the same needs as men. Women are flesh and blood just like their male counter-part. Therefore, this ancient way of reasoning leads to many sexually deprived women. As men age their testosterone levels drop. They can’t perform as they once did. With many men their egos are tied to their sexual performance, sow ma ahan waryaada.

So rather attempt to have sex with their wife’s, they withdraw completely at the risk of embarrassment. At this in a marriage, the wife feels the need for sexual attention. Her husband is not offering her this at home so she begins to stray to another bedroom. It is a factor that could break down the foundation of some marriages.

As young children, everyone wants to be hugged, kissed, and held from time to time. This is what some people associate to be love with; everyone despite gender or age wants praise or affection. Everyone wants to be told good job, that they are beautiful. The feeling of self-worth and importance in a relationship is imperative to women.

Women crave attention, and if they do not receive these feelings at home, their cravings for this attention will run them into another’s arms. The simple things that a husband does in a marriage can be the reason why a marriage remains so strong. He can do minor things such as complimenting her on her hair, her dress, or even how well she is raising their children.

She begs to hear accomplishments, she thrives on the smiles he gives her or the thanks behind each deed. She just wants to know that she is attractive and needed. A wife is similar to a child that wants acceptance on the first day of school. Women to feel like women, and sometimes it can take man to achieve this ultimate goal.

They want to feel loved for their bodies, soft skin, and sweet voices, and their mind occasionally. They want reorganization for being a woman rather than for just for raising children, cleaning, and a good foot massage.

When individuals lack self-confidence they can start to look to others for approval and recognition. Feeling unworthy, lacking purpose, and feeling unfulfilled by their role in life these individuals are prime suspects for affairs.

In these cases, the individual will unconsciously seek out someone similar to them in personality who can provide a mirror-like reflection of themselves. Consequently they will receive what feels like approval, not realizing it is a false sense of self and that it will not last.

Women cheat for these reasons and many more. When women cheat it is not because they weren’t ready for marriage, it is the little variables that they didn’t count on. Perhaps, women who cheat in their marriages have a misunderstanding of what a marriage is in its entirety.

Women are emotionally needy creatures by nature, so when something doesn’t go a women’s way depending on her personality, she may try to seek and find what she once had in her mate. The women that do cheat should reconsider their way of reasoning.

Never Drink Alcohol, Saaxiib

Drinking has always been a problem for teenagers, particularly for the past few years. Research shows that over 60% of high school seniors drink at least once a week, although the law does not make drinking legal until age 21.
In reality, kids are drinking at increasingly younger ages. The question is why do teens use alcohol when they know it's orbidden?. It is very hard to come up with one common answer, but let's read what I think about the problem.

Students, including muslim students, give various reasons; with most saying they drink for enjoyment, to be accepted by friends, to forget problems, and to reduce stress in their lives.

During my sophomore year at Ramussen collge, there was a friend of mine named Yoonis who was different from everyone else. Gifted with a photographic memory, he concentrated all his time to study and helped out other people.

Including his looks and being favored by all of his teachers, he was sure that he would be very popular and well-known at the college. Unfortunately, Yoonis found it was very shocking to learn that he was despised by all the football and basketball players whom he longed to befriend with.

Never been so disappointed in life, he went out for a walk; suddenly, the idea of drinking just popped into his tiny head. For once, everything seemed so bright again as if Yoonis found a fortune, he had finally known the solution how to fit into the crowd and become the most popular guy in school.

After following the other students’ ideas to drink and use drugs, he ruined himself by partying out all night. His goal of going to Harvard started to fade away and was slowly replaced by the urge to have a few cups of beer everyday.

Instead of choosing a better path by using his talents, he chose to live more idly rather than going to a well-known university. Many students, favoring lying on their backs and drinking, became worthless individuals.

Other teenagers, on the contrary, pushed themselves to the edge of their limits; caused themselves more stress than they can manage, turned to alcohol to relieve their worries, and hoped for their friends’ acceptance. Yoonis, as muslim, knew that all kind of alcohol and drugs are haram and that did not stop him using whatever he wants.

Masara, my Oromo friend, had such a promising future until she began drinking. Being a role model and an outstanding student in school, she was loved by many friends and family. To be able to pay for her education, she had to work part time while being a full time student.

Overwhelmed with work and study, she was always stressed out about everything. Every time Masara came over to my house, she always rushed things and tried to finish her homework, so she can get to work in time. Due to the fact that she did not receive enough sleep at night, Masara always had bags under her eyes.

As time flew by, she became tired of school and work, so she told her friend Christine, and American girl, to take her to a club to drink the night away. Christine, as a drinker herself, persuaded Masara that drinking was the only solution to relieve stress.

Ignoring her conscience, Masara decided to try a can. At first, it tasted awful; however, she felt a little relax and her stress began to ease away. Each day, Masara consumed a little bit more until she became addicted. Therefore, her grades began to drop steadily, and she rarely showed up to work.

While partying with her friend, she passed out from too much drinking. As a result, she was taken to the hospital for intoxication. One of her other friends drank heavily, and I just realized the damaging effect that alcohol can bring to our lives.

Many mulsims in an America know how to drink, Farah, a well respected Somali dad, was not an exception. Rather than bringing a paycheck home, he wasted all his money on alcohol. Farah rarely stayed home and spent time with kids; he mostly devoted his leisure time at the bar or at his friend's house drinking and gambling.

Every time he came home, which was usually very late at night, he just plopped onto the couch and waited for dinner; in his hand was a can of beer. Instead of teaching his kids not to drink alcohol like ordinary parents would do, he ignored his responsibilities and made himself into very bad role-model.

Not only did he ruin his life and family, he also placed himself in danger. After witnessing what happened to Farah, I gained the courage to stand up for my muslim friends and deny the persuasive forces of their peers.

Seeing how alcoholism has affected Yoonis, Masara, and Farah, I strongly disagree that drinking is supposed to give us a safe escape from life. Kaboho, an Ugandan, taught her young daughter how to drink safely, so when she grows up she could have control over herself.

However, from my experience, what would happen if Farah taught his kids how to drink, would they have control over themselves? In my opinion, I don't think they could. Unlike Kaboho, many Somali moms have taught their kids the effects of drugs and alcohol which were that they not only damaged our body but also our lives, minds, spirits, and finally it is haram.

Teenagers, desiring to be accepted into the popular group of friends and yearning to forget their worries, turn to alcohol to satisfy themselves. However, alcohol does not make them special nor does it relieve their worries.

Farah, Yoonis, and Masar's experiences helped my other friends see the effects of alcohol and the consequences of excessive drinking. Being at a time where they need to feel acceptance and control, teenagers choose to drink, believing that it will not only free them from parental dictation, but also gain them the approval of their peers.

However, their choice does not show their independence because they are really following their peers' influence. Instead of enabling themselves to get away from their worries, they create more problems for themselves. With all the troubles that I know drinking cause, I, as a true muslim, will never turn to alcohol for any solutions to my problems.

Just One Friend

There was a time when Shamsa didn’t have a lot of friends. She was a bit shy and reserved. She never really wanted to be popular, but she did want to have someone to share secrets and laughs with. All through high school, though, she just slipped in and out of “light” friendships where she didn’t find a lot of comfort or companionship.

When it came time to go to college, Shamsa was quite nervous. She was going to be rooming with someone she didn’t know and living in a town 300 miles away from home. There wouldn’t be a single person she knew in town. She had no idea how she was going to make friends in this new environment where there is no Somalis at all.

The first week of classes, something happened that changed Shamsa’s life forever. In her English Composition class, she was asked (as were all the students) to share a little about herself. She told everyone where she called home and all of the other ordinary details that students share in such situations.

The final question for each student was always the same: “What is your goal for this class?” Now, most of the students said it was to get a good grade, pass the class or something similar, but for some reason, Shamsa said something entirely different. She said that her goal was to make just one good friend.

While most of the students sat in silence, one student came to Shamsa and held out his hand and introduced himself. He asked if she would be his friend. The whole room was silent – all eyes focused on the Shamsa and the hand extended just in front of her.

She smiled and stretched her hand out to take his and a friendship was formed. It was a friendship that lasted all through college. It was a friendship that turned into a romance. It was a friendship that brought two people together in marriage.

Mr Sayid from Tunisia and Shamsa, an American citizen of Somali orgin, are a winderful married couple and enjoying life to the fullest. Woow happy guys! May allah show them his mercy and give them wiil iyo caano gabar iyo caano ameen.

Shamsa learned the power of asking for what she wanted, being honest and taking action.

Water A Friend

I want to share an important story happened When I was at Afmadow, a small village in Somalia. It was one of the hottest days of the dry season. We had not seen rain in almost a month. The crops were dying. Cows had stopped giving milk. The creeks and streams were long gone back into the earth. It was a dry season that would bankrupt several farmers before it was through. Every day, my friend and his brothers would go about the arduous process of trying to get water to the fields.

Lately this process had involved taking a truck to the local water rendering plant and filling it up with water. But severe rationing had cut everyone off. If we didn't see some rain soon...we would lose everything.

It was on this day that I learned the true lesson of sharing and witnessed the only miracle I have seen with my own eyes. I was in the kitchen making lunch for my sick uncle and his brothers when I saw his six-year old son, Bashir, walking toward the woods.

He wasn't walking with the usual carefree abandon of a youth but with a serious purpose. I could only see his back. He was obviously walking with a great effort...trying to be as still as possible. Minutes after he disappeared into the woods, he came running out again, toward the house. I went back to making sandwiches; thinking that whatever task he had been doing was completed.

Moments later, however, he was once again walking in that slow purposeful stride toward the woods. This activity went on for an hour: walk carefully to the woods, run back to the house. Finally I couldn't take it any longer and I crept out of the house and followed him on his journey (being very careful not to be seen...as he was obviously doing important work and didn't need anyone checking up on him).

He was cupping both hands in front of him as he walked; being very careful not to spill the water he held in them... maybe two or three tablespoons were held in his tiny hands. I sneaked close as he went into the woods. Branches and thorns slapped his little face but he did not try to avoid them. He had a much higher purpose. As I leaned in to spy on him, I saw the most amazing sight.

Several large deer loomed in front of him. Bashir walked right up to them. I almost screamed for him to get away. A huge buck with elaborate antlers was dangerously close. But the buck did not threaten him...he didn't even move as Bashir knelt down. And I saw a tiny fawn laying on the ground, obviously suffering from dehydration and heat exhaustion, lift its head with great effort to lap up the water cupped in this beautiful boy's hand.

When the water was gone, Bashir jumped up to run back to the house and I hid behind a tree. I followed him back to the house; to a spigot that we had shut off the water to. Bashir opened it all the way up and a small trickle began to creep out.

He knelt there, letting the drip slowly fill up his makeshift "cup," as the sun beat down on his little back. And it came clear to me. The trouble he had gotten into for playing with the hose the week before. The lecture he had received about the importance of not wasting water. The reason he didn't ask me to help him. It took almost twenty minutes for the drops to fill his hands.

When he stood up and began the trek back, I was there in front of him. His little eyes just filled with tears. "I'm not wasting," was all he said. As he began his walk, I joined him...with a small pot of water from the kitchen. I let him tend to the fawn. I stayed away. It was his job.

I stood on the edge of the woods watching the most beautiful heart I have ever known working so hard to save another life. As the tears that rolled down my face began to hit the ground, they were suddenly joined by other drops...and more drops...and more. I looked up at the sky. It was as if Allah, himself, was weeping with pride.

Some will probably say that this was all just a huge coincidence. That miracles don't really exist. That it was bound to rain sometime. And I can't argue with at...I'm not going to try. All I can say is that the rain that came that day saved our my uncle's farm...just like that actions of one little boy saved another.

I don't know if anyone will read this...but I had to send it out. To honor the memory of my beautiful cousin, Bashir, who was taken from me much too soon.... But not before showing me the true face of Allah, in a little sunburned body. Oh Allah! help us, we need you. aamin

Prophet Mohamed[pbuh]

Muhammad (pbuh) was born in Makkah on 12 Rabi` al-Awwal 570 c.e. His father, `Abdullah Ibn `Abdul Muttalib of the Banu Hashim clan of the Quraysh tribe, died before his birth. According to the custom of the Quraysh nobility, the infant Muhammad (pbuh), when only eight days old, was handed to a Bedouin wet-nurse to be brought up by her in the healthy atmosphere of the desert.

At the age of five, Muhammad (pbuh) returned to the care of his mother, Aminah bint Wahb, whose father was the chief of the Banu Zahrah clan, but she died a year later. Muhammad (pbuh) then went to his paternal grandfather, `Abdul Muttalib, the chief of
Banu Hashim and the leader of the people of Makkah, who gave him loving care.

He died when Muhammad (pbuh) was eight, and the boy was then brought up by his uncle Abu Talib, who was to prove his shield and protection when some thirty years later his preaching brought upon him the enmity of the people of Makkah. Abu Talib was a merchant of modest means, and when Muhammad (pbuh) grew up, he assisted him in his business.

At the age of twelve, he accompanied his uncle in a merchant's caravan to Syria. Muhammad (pbuh) was content with his lot as a shepherd, but his uncle Abu Talib desired something better for him and obtained him employment with a rich widow, Khadijah bint Khuwaylid ibn Asad. Thus Muhammad (pbuh) found himself at the age of twenty-five in charge of a caravan conveying merchandise to Syria.

On his return, Khadijah was so pleased with his successful management of her business, and was so attracted by his nobility of character - reports about which she had heard from her old servant who had accompanied him - that she sent her sister to offer the young man her hand. Muhammad (pbuh) had felt drawn to Khadijah, and so matters were soon arranged and, though Khadijah was fifteen years his senior, their twenty-six years of married life were singularly happy. Muhammad (pbuh) continued to work as a merchant.

His fairness further enhanced his reputation as Al-Amin (The Trustworthy). In the year 605 c.e., a dispute arose during the reconstruction of the Ka`bah(+), which threatened to plunge the different clans of the Quraysh tribe into war, but the sagacious arbitration of Muhammad (pbuh) saved the situation and settled the dispute to everyone's satisfaction. He continued to take an ever-increasing interest in public affairs and to exert himself in the service of the poor, the helpless and the weak.

Many were the slaves who owed their freedom to Muhammad (pbuh), and many were the widows and orphans who lived on his generosity. Whenever the iniquities of his people oppressed him, Muhammad (pbuh) retired to the solitude of a cave in Mount Hira' outside Makkah. There his soul tried to peer into the mysteries of creation, of life and death, of good and evil, to find order out of chaos. Solitude became a passion with him, and every year he would retire to the cave for the whole month of Ramadan, to mediate.

It was on one of these occasions, when he was forty years of age, that Muhammad (pbuh) received the Call. One night, while lying absorbed in his thoughts in the solitude of the cave, Muhammad (pbuh) was commanded by a mighty Voice to go forth and preach. Twice the Voice called and twice he ignored the Call. The Voice called for the third time and revealed to him the first verses from the Qur'an. Alarmed by the experience, Muhammad (pbuh) rose trembling, and hastened home to seek rest and solace for his troubled mind and tortured soul in Khadijah's tender care, and she calmed and comforted him.

When he had recovered sufficiently, he sought the solitude of the hills to soothe his anguish of mind when the Angel of Allah appeared to him and recalled him to his duty to mankind. Awe-stricken, he hurried back to his house and asked Khadijah to wrap him in warm garments. She did her best to reassure him, saying that his conduct through life had been such that Allah would not let a harmful spirit come to him.

She later consulted her kinsman, Waraqah ibn Nawfal, an old man who knew the Scriptures of the Jews and the Christians. He declared that the heavenly message that had come to Moses of old had now come to Muhammad (pbuh), and that he was chosen as a Prophet of Allah. The very thought of being chosen out of all mankind with such a Mission profoundly disturbed Muhammad's (pbuh) humble and devout mind.

Khadijah was the first to accept the truth of his Mission, and then he communicated his experience to his cousin `Ali, his adopted son Zayd, and his intimate friend Abu Bakr. These persons, who knew him best and had lived and worked with him and noted all his movements and the sincerity of his character, became his first converts.

The Prophet began by preaching his mission secretly first among his intimate friends, then among the members of his own tribe and thereafter publicly in the city and suburbs. Standing alone, he proclaimed the glory of Allah, publicly denounced the idolatry of his people and their evil ways, and called them to Allah and the better life. The Quraysh tribe were the guardians of the Ka`bah, the holy place to which all Arabs made pilgrimage, and it was a source of great prestige and profit to their city, Makkah.

They were, therefore, seriously alarmed and became actively hostile towards Muhammad (pbuh), who was now publicly preaching against the worship of the idols in the Ka`bah, which ranked first among the vested interests. During the season of the pilgrimage, men were posted on all the roads to warn the tribes against the madman who was preaching against their gods. The early converts of Muhammad (pbuh), who were mostly humble folk, were subjected to great oppression.

And in spite of his rank, Muhammad (pbuh) himself would have been killed if the Quraysh had not been deterred by the fear of blood vengeance from his powerful clan, Banu Hashim. The persecution increased as Muhammad's (pbuh) converts grew in number and influence.The fury of the people of Makkah knew no bounds.

Muhammad (pbuh), the respected citizen of rank and high descent, “Al-Amin” of his people, was henceforth subjected to insults, to personal violence, and to the bitterest persecution, and his converts were most relentlessly oppressed, persecuted and tortured. Deeply grieved at the sad plight of his followers, Muhammad (pbuh) advised them in the fifth year of his Mission to leave the country and seek refuge from the persecution of the idolators among the Christian people of Abyssinia.

Muhammad (pbuh) and a few stalwart followers remained in Makkah and suffered untold misery and oppression, but still their number continued to increase. In their exasperation, the Quraysh outlawed Muhammad (pbuh) and asked his clan to forgo their right of avenging his blood. Though unbelievers and participators in the persecution, the proud clansmen refused to give up the right at the bidding of the people of Makkah, who thereupon boycotted them.

Muhammad (pbuh), the small band of his followers and Banu Hashim and Banu Al-Muttalib suffered such terrible hardships that the better minds among the people of Makkah grew weary of the social ostracism of old friends and neighbors. After three years, towards the end of 619 c.e., the ban was lifted.

Banu Hashim and Banu Al-Muttalib were now free to follow their vocations, but opposition to Muhammad (pbuh) became ever more relentless. A year later, Muhammad (pbuh) lost his uncle and protector, the noble Abu Talib, and his beloved wife, Khadijah, in whose love and devotion he had found comfort, solace and encouragement. The death of Abu Talib removed the last check on the Makkans' violence. Muhammad (pbuh) was now defenseless and in continual peril of his life.

Persecution grew ever fiercer, and Muhammad (pbuh)sought refuge in the neighboring city of Ta'if, where he was met with great hostility and barely escaped with his life. But a turning point in his career was at hand.

Muhammad (pbuh) made several converts in a party of pilgrims from the prosperous city of Yathrib. After the Pilgrimage, the men of Yathrib returned to their city with a Muslim teacher, and in the following year, at the time of Pilgrimage, seventy-three Muslims from Yathrib came to Makkah to vow allegiance to the Prophet and invited him to go to their city. Muhammad (pbuh) took council with his Makkan followers, and it was decided that they should immigrate to Yathrib.

hey left gradually and unobtrusively, Muhammad (pbuh) remaining to the last. Their departure was soon discovered by the Quraysh, who decided to slay Muhammad (pbuh) before he too escaped, for although they hated the idea of his preaching in their midst, they dreaded still more the spread of his influence if he escaped from Makkah.

They, therefore, cast lots and chose forty men, one from each clan, who took a solemn vow to kill Muhammad (pbuh). They were to strike simultaneously so that the murder could not be avenged by blood feud on any one clan. But on the night they were to kill him, Muhammad (pbuh) left Makkah with Abu Bakr.

Eluding his pursuers over a long distance of desert and rocks, he reached Yathrib, thereafter known as Madinah. This event is called the Hijrah, or emigration. It marks the greatest turning point in the history of Muhammad's (pbuh) Mission, and the Muslim calendar is named after it. Muhammad (pbuh) was now free to preach and his followers increased rapidly. The Muslims could now worship freely and live according to the laws of Allah.

It was during this period, with the Prophet now the head of a nascent Islamic State, that most of the Qur’anic verses regarding the rules of society were revealed. But the people of Makkah were not going to allow Muhammad's (pbuh) movement to take root in Madinah. They organized three great expeditions against the city, but all were beaten back.

Eventually the Makkans and Muslims concluded the Treaty of Hudaybiyah to maintain peace between them and to observe neutrality in their conflicts with third parties. Profiting by the peace, the Prophet launched an intensive program for the propagation of Islam.

A few weeks after the Treaty of Hudaybiyah, the Prophet (pbuh) sent letters to several kings and the Byzantine and Persian Emperors () inviting them to Islam. The king of Abyssinia and the ruler of Bahrain accepted Islam , while the Byzantine ’Emperor, Heraclius, acknowledged Muhammad's (pbuh) Prophethood without actually accepting Islam.

It was not until the eighth year after the Hijrah that the Muslims were able to put an end to this war by gaining a bloodless victory over Makkah when the Makkans violated the terms of their treaty. The people of Makkah, who had relentlessly oppressed Muhammad (pbuh) and his followers for twenty-one years, expected dire vengeance, but in the hour of their defeat they were treated with the greatest magnanimity.

"Go, you are free!" were the words with which Muhammad (pbuh) gave them general amnesty. The Prophet (pbuh) removed all the idols in and around the Ka`bah, saying, "And say: Truth hath come and falsehood hath vanished away. Lo! falsehood is ever bound to vanish."(Al-Isra': 81). Also, the Muslim call to prayer was heard in this ancient sanctuary.

The Surrender of Makkah was followed by the submission of the surrounding tribes and the acknowledgement of Muhammad's (pbuh) spiritual and temporal leadership over the whole of Arabia. During the ninth year of the Hijrah, delegations came from all parts of Arabia to swear allegiance to the Prophet (pbuh) and to hear the Qur'an. Islam now spread by leaps and bounds, and the peoples of the Arabian Peninsula and the southern regions of Iraq and Palestine had voluntarily embraced Islam.

In the tenth year, Muhammad (pbuh) went to Makkah as a pilgrim, and he felt it was for the last time because of the Revelation he received there included the verse, " [...]This day have I perfected your religion for you and completed My favor unto you [...]” (Al-Ma'idah: 3) On his return to Madinah, he fell ill of a mortal fever. It lasted for fifteen days, but he continued to lead the prayers until three days before his death, when he deputed Abu Bakr. At early dawn on the last day of his earthly life, Muhammad (pbuh) came out from his room beside the mosque and joined the public prayers, but later in the day he died.

The end came peacefully; murmuring of pardon and the company of the righteous in Paradise, the Prophet (pbuh) of Islam breathed his last breath, at the age of 63, on Wednesday, 12 Rabi` al-Awwal 11 a.h. By the time his mission had ended, the Prophet (pbuh) was blessed with several hundred thousand followers, both men and women. Thousands prayed with him at the mosque and listened to his sermons. Hundreds of sincere Muslims found every opportunity to be with him following the five daily prayers and at other times.

They sought his advice for their everyday problems and listened attentively to the interpretation and application of revealed verses to their situation. They followed the message of the Qur’an and the Messenger of Allah with utmost sincerity and supported him with everything they had. After his death, they faithfully carried the message of Islam, and within ninety years the light of Islam reached Spain, North Africa, the Caucasus, northwest China and India.
By Sheikh Sharif

What is Islam?

A complete Way of Life
Islam is a religion, but not in the western meaning of religion. The western connotation of the term "religion" is something between the believer and God. Islam is a religion that organizes all aspects of life on both the individual and national levels.

Islam organizes your relations with Allah, with yourself, with your children, with your relatives, with your neighbor, with your guest, and with other brethren. Islam clearly establishes your duties and rights in all those relationships.

Islam establishes a clear system of worship, civil rights, laws of marriage and divorce, laws of inheritance, code of behavior, what not to drink, what to wear, and what not to wear, how to worship God, how to govern, the laws of war and peace, when to go to war, when to make peace, the law of economics, and the laws of buying and selling. Islam is a complete code of life.

Islam is not practiced in the mosque ama masjid only, it is for daily life, a guide to life in all its aspects: socially, economically, and politically.

Islam is complete constitution. Thus Islam keeps the Muslim away from confusion, because Islam is logical and rational. Allah is one. Allah is one Allah has no sons. Allah is not associated with trinity. Allah does not kill to save. No mediation is required between Allah and man.

Islam organizes human nature, but does not go against it. There is not a class of clergy in Islam; nor is there celibacy. Islam is complete way of human life

You Accepted Islam?

As enthralling as many present-day conversion stories may be, it is to the first converts to Islam, the Sahaba, that we should look for inspiration, writes American convert, Yahiya Emerick.Many people have asked me lately how I came to Islam. It is not an unusual question for a convert to be asked.

Every person who accepts Islam has a unique story and tale to tell. I remember getting one of the books filled with "convert stories" and being enthralled for days at the variety of experiences people have.

Many "born" Muslims, as they call themselves, take a great interest in such convert stories as well. It reaffirms their faith and strengthens their resolve. After all, if people are accepting Islam in droves today, even though Islam has been stigmatized in popular and secular culture all over the world, there must be a hidden value. Reading what others see in accepting the Islamic Way of Life reinforces our awareness of this value.

There is another valuable source of convert stories as well. A source which can have an even greater effect on your Eman and Taqwa than contemporary sources. I would recommend that people spend more time reading these stories than those of modern converts. This other source is the stories of the Sahaba (Companions of the Prophet).

Did you know that almost all of the Sahaba were converts to Islam? Every last one of them has a unique story and quite a few have suspense-filled adventures on their way to the truth. Sometimes when I read about one of them, I find parallels in my own journey to Islam. Other times I find myself amazed at the power of the human spirit to overcome even the most insurmountable obstacles.

My personal favorites among the Sahaba are Fatimah, Salman al Farsi, Abu Darda, Abu Dharr al Ghiffari, 'Umar, Mu'adh ibn Jabal and Umm Ammarah. (My wife holds the story of Julaybib close to her heart.) In my humble understanding, I feel every Muslim should make it a point to be familiar with the stories of at least ten of the Sahaba. Skim through a book of their biographies, pick a few that seem to interest you and then read in detail. Compare their examples. How did they interact with the Prophet and others? What lessons are there for our own lives today?

I sometimes find myself wishing that in study circles and Tarbiyya sessions that Muslims would move away from repeating the same worn-out old topics (lessons of the Hijrah, significance of Surah al 'Asr) and explore other, deeper themes that are more relevant. The struggles, achievements and trials of the Sahaba have a timeless relationship to what people face in every age.

Is it any wonder that the Blessed Prophet advised us to follow the example of his Sahaba and even Allah, Himself, praises the Sahaba in many places in the Qur'an. Today our children's heroes are basketball players, fashion models, singers and movie stars. People who do nothing important. All they are is entertainers. They teach nothing good in a real sense, they contribute nothing to society and all they do is present an example of a wild and wealthy lifestyle which makes our children want to duplicate it.

What of the Heroes of Islam? Time and time again I have seen Khatibs, lecturers and scholars mention the names of Sahaba and others to an audience which was filled with people who didn't know anything about those names. The speaker may feel flushed with pride mentioning those names, but his or her listeners don't know the deep implications and significance.

That's a whole other topic, of course: the gap between the scholars (who live in a dream world) and the masses of the Muslims (who are cut off from most Islamic knowledge). I'll save that for another column. Suffice it to say, by reading the stories of those who have accepted Islam, we ourselves can learn jewels of wisdom which can permeate our own experience and make us better Muslims.

Every parent, school and teacher must make certain that our children know at least ten Sahaba stories in a meaningful and relevant way. Then our children will look to the real giants of history as their heroes and born Muslims can get a sense of pride in their way of life that goes beyond, far beyond what stories those of us converts of today can tell.

Do I have any suggestions for you to begin? Of course, that's the whole reason I write this column month after month. I want improvement. Business as usual may be fine in a dilapidated Muslim country, but the Islamic movement is alive and kicking in America. I want to see it stabilize and become a permanent part of this nation's fabric.

As far as books to read for the stories of the Sahaba, there are three main sources I recommend: "The Beauty of the Righteous and Ranks of the Elite" (Akili) "The Companions of the Prophet" (Hamid) and "Hayatus Sahaba" (Kandhalvi). These three sources are available just about everywhere. If you don't know where to get them you can call a Muslim bookstore and they can send them to you. Here's a couple of phone numbers you can try: 1-800-337-4287 or 1-718-721-4246.

There you have it! The names of three great sources for learning and the numbers where to get them. It just doesn't get any better than this! After reading one or all of these books, choose ten Sahaba which you feel most drawn towards and then accept this further challenge. Sit down with some paper and a pen and write a short essay to yourself about what impresses you most about each Sahaba and what lessons you can draw for your own life.

Save those essays and read them again every few years or months as you need to. If you're feeling down or helpless or stressed you can center yourself by reading the examples of others who had even tougher struggles than us and who came through with flying colors. Let's not be like the people that Allah spoke about, the people who are like donkeys carrying piles of books. Let's apply our reading, make it meaningful for our lives and do something with it. Will you accept this challenge? I will.