It is Time to Break up

When we first start a new relationship we are so filled with happy euphoric feelings of love that it seems like things couldn't ever change, but more often than not they do. More often than not they end. It is a sad fact of dating that things don't always work out and when a relationship starts to turn it can be hard to accept. Is your relationship reaching it's expiry date? Is a break up in the near future? Should you get out before things get ugly or hang on and see if there is something left.

Remember: If your relationship is emmotionally or physically abusive, or if it causes you to act in a self destructive manner you should get out regardless of how "in love" you feel. Relationships that hurt don't need to be saved. Waa yaab aduun in la isaga dhex jiro relationship aan shaqeyneynin. Breaking up is always my motto to save my ass.

Most relationships could be saved only if the couple spent many years together, and there is some trust in it. What, however, I'm talking about is the so-called TESTING THE WATER, to see if someone is actually compatible with the other one.

Any realtionship less than a year is doomed to fail and giving it another try is as simple as just saying"I'M SORRY", but those words are actually the main killer and they should be avoided altogether. It's up to that couple to work out or get a help to save their damn relationship, otherwise there is nothing wrong to throw it in the towel.

Breakingup is a very difficult situation and it is considered like your loved one is dead, and losing someone you loved for many months or years is the same. We have to go into a period of mourning and start over again and look for another lover at the end of the tunnel.

I often hear about couples breaking up because of "incompatibility." The concept of compatibility has been around for many years, and many have accepted this as a fundamental truth of relationships. According to this axiom, people, like chemicals, can be categorized - with certain personality types mixing well together whereas others producing destructive explosions when combined in a close relationship. (Ma rubaa )

Another flavor of this conventional wisdom is that couples are held together by shared values or preferences. So when two people find themselves "drifting apart" they may conclude that they have changed and no longer have much in common.

On the other hand, some proverbs present a contradictory viewpoint - "opposites attract" and "variety is the spice of life." So where's the truth? Are compatibility and commonality critical success factors in a relationship?

Here's a little story someone wrote:

She married him because he was such a "strong man." She divorced him because he was such a "dominating male."

He married her because she was so "fragile and cute." He divorced her because she was so "weak and helpless."

She married him because "he is a good provider." She divorced him because "all he thinks about is success."

He married her because she was "steady and sensible." He divorced her because she was "boring and dull."

This makes clear that the perception of compatibility and commonality can indeed make or break a marriage. So the real question is - can we change our perception?