I'm Ugly, Damn

Hey guys how does one deal with looking bad? I mean I just have a hard time dealing with the fact that I look ugly. Do you think any sort of treatments help? Does anyone else have a similar experience where they just feel like crap because they can't deal with their physical appearance? Infact it's so damn depressing that I just hate myself so much and wonder why I was born and why god does this to people

Infact it's so damn depressing that I just hate myself so much and wonder why I was born and why god does this to people. People think I look like a terrorist or something like that (because of my eyebrows and my nose)...and when I'm on the metro...I get these wierd stares from everyone (horribly excruciating negative attention as I interpret it)...I just have no idea what to do with myself...life seems too depressing every day. Damn xegeen ku dhuntaa.

I'm not hideous. But I'm not physically attractive either. So I don't attract much attention from the fairer sex. I have to work really hard to get noticed by using my wit and sense of humor. Now you might say that these personality traits are ultimately more important than looks. And I agree with you. But if a girl can't see past my apperance, how can I put those secondary characteristics to work for me?

That's the dilema. Now, I've had girlfriends before. These have been girls that I got to know very well first, as friends. They liked that I was smart and funny. But had I met them at a party, or a bar or something and approached them and started talking to them, I don't think I would have gotten very far.

In a setting like that, the initial attraction is almost entirely physical. How do you get past that? If you're at least moderately good looking, you can approach someone, strike up a conversation, buy someone a sweet drink. If you're not good looking, and you lack confidence because of that, you're just going to be nervous and awkward. And even if you have the confidence, you're chance of success are significantly less.

Ever see those news shows like Dateline and 60 minutes? Every once in a while they'll do an experiment. They'll have some supermodel walk around on the street and see if people will open doors for her. Or she'll drop a stack of papers, and people will stop and help her.

In the second round of the experiment, however, they dress her in dull colored loose fitting clothes that don't reveal her figure, and they'll use make up effects to give her a big nose, a scar, and crooked teeth. In this condition, she gets a lot less help. Fewer people open doors for her, if any. Fewer help her pick up her stack of papers.

The solution is simple. Find a mate who can see past physical appearance, and then work hard to help them see you're more attractive traits. But that is much easier said than done, because it seems that people like that are quite rare. I think that most people, when asked, don't consider physical appearance to be more important than personality. But when it comes down to choosing a mate, they're choices aren't always consistent with that preference.

Just something I've noticed and been victim too repeatedly over the last two years. I try not to be bitter. Damn I look ugly, I can't belive. Hehe where I can find abaayo foolxum, or an ugly girl. Don't laugh at me you guys. because some of you are ugly too. Come on baby, and give me a hug.

Somali Terrorists in Sweden

Americans used to talk about Somali terrorist in America, but we Somalis are hearing that Sweden have their own Somali Terrorists list as well. We will probably hear more countries doing the same sooner than later. A handful of Muslim Swedes have been killed in brutal fights.

Young, Swedish-Somali men have been trained to fight and also participated in the bloody civil war in Somalia. The Swedish security police, Sapo, told to Expressen newspaper that "a handful" Swedes have been killed in the war-torn country on Africa's east coast.

Fought for al-Shabaab

The Security Police confirmed yesterday to the newspaper that a young Swedish Muslim was killed during fighting in the beginning of July, and it is in the wake of this disclosure that it appears that even more Swedish Somalis have fought in the Civil War.

The Muslims fought for al-Shabaab, the Islamist terrorist group that with great force has cut the legs under the fragile regime in Somalia.

The Al Shabaab is fighting for to establish an Islamist state in the Horn of Africa.

The Government’s army has been reinforced with troops from the African Union, but militias continue to make great progress. Al-Shabaab is suspected by the United States to stand in coalition with Al-Qaida, and is considered a terrorist organization.

Own initiative

According to Expressen, the young man came to Sweden as a child, and lived in the country until he recently moved back to Somalia.

Police spokesman, Patrik Peter, said that the man's sympathy with extremist Islam began while he still lived in Sweden.

”It is a process that leads to ideological and religious activism. Muslim is convinced that it is acceptable to use violence to promote political messages," says Peter.

According to Peter the young man and the group he belonged to have been victims of the strong or charismatic people outside who have led them into extremism.

Not alone

Malena Rembe, chief analyst at Sapo’s terror unit, told that Swedish Muslims have traveled to Somalia to participate in fighting or terrorism education.

Dagbladet has previously mentioned that the American Islamist terrorist have traveled to Somali to fight.

A great number of American Somalis have joined the Islamist extremists, and at least one U.S. citizen has conducted suicide attacks in the country.

The FBI chief Robert Mueller III confirmed to the New York Times in February that the Somali suicide bomber was trained by Minnesota terrorist while he was still in the USA. The U.S. is sending weapons and military equipment to the Somali government to strengthen it in its the fight against the Islamist insurgents.

Amnesty Int'l has recorder extensive and serious violations of human rights in the country.

A strict sharia law has been introduced in the areas al-Shabaab, where people who do not come to Friday prayers are being whipped and thieves get their hands chopped off.

Swedish "Youth" Dead in Somalia

Another young Swedish-Somali man has been killed in the conflict in Somalia. According to the Swedish Security Service, he died in the beginning of July after being recruited in Sweden by the militia Al Shabab.

It’s well known in the Somali community that the group, which may have ties to terrorist network Al Qaida, has been recruiting youth in Sweden. Al Shabab has been especially active in the Stockholm suburb of Rinkeby, where a large number of Sweden’s Somali population lives.

Kadafi Hussein, youth leader at a Rinkeby community center, told SR International that he saw four young men recruit Somalis in a public square. “They talked about jihad and what was happening in Somalia. That it was right to go there, and that they’d help you out with a plane ticket if you needed it.”

According to Malena Rembe of the Swedish Security Service, the Swedish-Somali man who died in Somalia had lived in Sweden since he was very young. This type of radicalization may pose a danger for Sweden, she says.

“We fear that that they’ll develop a network, and get experience and training in Somalia that they can then use in Sweden [to plan terrorist attacks] when they come back.

These days Somalis living in the west are being labeled as terrrorist and many Somalis in the USA in particular are being put under microscope. What the hell is going here. what all we know is that few Somalis kids went to Somalia to fight for Al-Shabaab without their parents' knowledge, but that doesn't mean Somalis are terrorist. We gotta need to be careful and we should keep track of what our kids doing.

My Perfect Life in Your Face

It has become an epidemic. And it’s contagious. Although many people use facebook to genuinely stay in touch with friends, there are others who are using facebook as a place where they can increase their ego. And those are the people I’m focusing on. Facebook has become an important psychological tool in people’s daily lives.

And it is a perfect tool to show off your “ideal” life. And people who aren’t really into the whole showing off thing have to watch these people throw their lives in their faces- literally. Probably why it’s called facebook.

You’ve got to applaud the people who thought this up though. It’s a place where you can show off to the world. I have seen several profiles that scream out “I have the perfect life”. It’s all about popularity- how many friends do you have? Do they love you? How many gifts are you receiving per week from them? How busy is your facebook page? The busier means the better life you have- apparently. But do they actually know a quarter of the people on their friend list? Like really know them? Do they even keep in touch, or is this friend list just a wall of fame to prove how social you are? And we all know that society dictates that successful people are the social ones. If you’re a loner, “then you’re a loser.”

Then there are the photos. They should have called it vanity book. People post up their best photo- it may not even look like how they are in real life- on their profile. Everyone wants a celebrity head-shot- their chance of fame. And the photo albums show off their happy lives- smiling for the camera. Many people use their wedding photos, to show off that they are loved, happy and married. And on their marital status, they can state who they are married to, with a link to their partner’s profile, who has a gorgeous face. What a life!

Then there are the applications. A place where you can show off all the cities you’ve visited- to show how well-traveled you are. A feature that gives you the perfect opportunity to describe your lovely friend as an amazing person- thus increasing their ego and popularity; and creating an air of celebrity fame for that person. There’s a program that let’s you add your best friends so that their popularity level increases. A wall where people on your friend list can stop by and write to you. My; what a social, busy bee! This is like 18th century Europe without the Internet; people were rated on how many people they knew and who invited them to grand parties. Adding a friend on facebook is like entering a whole new world of parties.

But I wonder, if their life is so ideal, so perfect as they try to show on facebook, then what are they doing on the Internet? The people I know who have great lives are too busy for facebook. They have a mobile phone and a house where friends can stop by.

It seems that these people who are boasting their fantastic lives- while your life needs to be improved and not by simple DIY- are spending a considerable amount of time on the Internet. They’re not really living their supposedly fantastic lives, are they?

They’re sitting on a cosy chair in front of a screen writing about it. They are detaching themselves away from real life and drawing an ideal picture on the Internet of how they would like their life to look to others. Avoidance problems, perhaps? There is no doubt that the ’self’ is as important as it first was back in the 18th century.

It’s a shame really. All that time and effort consumed into convincing people you have a good life; that you deserve this minute of fame. It could have been spent differently. It could have been spent actually living your life; the life you so desperately need.

Three Steps Towards Friendship

Friendship and friends or saaxiibo continue to remain central to our lives. The relationship that we share with our friends is grounded in a mutual concern as our friends help us in shaping up our personalities as well. Many Somalis don't know the importance of friendship, damn

Even in this age of online social networking and ecards, the need of expanding the network of friends, whether online or offline remains a primary concern for people. We may have a very vague understanding of what makes saaxiib but we all want to have a good many number of friends around us.

Research has shown that the quality and nature of your friends are one of the key influencing factors in achieving happiness, self esteem, and satisfaction. Saaxiibo often affect the health and energy of a person as well. More and more people are increasingly turning towards their friends for support and mutual sharing rather than communicating to their relatives; and this sociological phenomenon has escalated the desire to make more friends. Dee waa sabata aan facebook u sameysaney sow ma aheyn

Though friendship is an impulsive relationship developed between two autonomous individuals marked by a voluntary, emotional and mutual concern, but there are certain steps, which, if implemented can win saaxiibkaa or at least help you get close to those whom you want to make your friends.

The first step to make friends with someone is to make them like you. If they don't like you in the first place, it is unlikely that they'll be eager to become your friends. To let someone know that you are genuinely interested in them, simple gestures like a little smile and calling them by their names can lay the basic foundation. To make the other person feel important you need to be a good listener and encourage the other person to talk. Give your honest and sincere opinion but do not overtly criticize or make fun of him or her. muran iyo is atooreyn ka fagoow

The second step of making someone your friend is to develop a mutual consideration between each other. You need to share his or her perspective and for that it is necessary for you to develop an inclination to see things from the other person's point of view. To become best of friends you must show a genuine concern and consideration for your friend's desires and opinions.

The third and final step towards friendship is to show your unconditional support and encouragement towards your friend. Moreover, you also need to be very clear about your expectations from your friend. If what you expect from the person you want to befriend, matches with what that person can and want to contribute in friendship, the developing friendship between you and your friend is assured to flourish, making both of you gratified with mutual emotional bonding.

Friendship has overwhelming significance on both social and individual level. Friendship doesn't only provide us with emotional as well as utilitarian support but it also helps us to improve our personal identities. So it is quite natural to feel the urge to reach out and make new friends, expanding your friend's circle.

Using the internet and the associated services like facebook come as a natural extension to this escalating aspiration. Friendship or saaxiibtinimo remains familiar yet quite ambiguous for our deeper understanding of this elusive relationship but then again, friends remain the most important ingredients in the recipe of life! Marka saaxiib noqo saaxiib run ah oo la aamini karo yaah

Dabaqoodhi iyo Dhibkooda

Inta aynaan guda galin sheekadeena, bal aan ka faaloono waxa uu yahey dabaqoodhi. Dabqoodhi waa eray duluc dheer xamabaarsan oo loobixiyy kuwii diintoodii, dalkoodii, dadkoodii, iyo sharaftoodiiba ka iibsadey Tigreega Itoobiyaanka ah ee uu madax u yahey Meles Zenawi nacalad ha ku dhacdee.

Dadka Somaliyeed ee dega dhulka Ogadenya waxey mudo dheer ku hoos noolaayeen cadowaga Itoobiyaanka oo xasuuq ba'an oo isugu jira, dil, kufsi, iyo barakicin u geystey dadka rayidka ah oo aan waxba galabsan. Lama soo koobi karo dhibka lagu hayo shacabka Ogadenya, kuwaasoo rafaad ba'an la kulma har iyo habeenba. Iyagoo aan haysing quud maalmoodkoodii ayaa hadan loogu daraa dil, kufsi, iyo barakicin xad dhaaf ah oo ay u gesytaan gumeysiga madoow ee Tigreega ee xooga ku hasyta dhulka Ogadenya.

Waxaa dhibkaas shacabka Ogadenya lagu hayo ka dhiidhiyey Jabahada Wadaniga Xoreynya Ogadenya ee marka la soo gaabiyo loo yaqaano JXWO ama ONLF oo u taagan Ogaden National Liberation Front. ONLF oo ay hor u kacayaan dhalinyaro mujaahidiin ah oo naftooda iyo maalkoodaba u huraya siddii loo xoreyn lahaa dhulka Ogadenya, una dagaalamaya sidii shacabka Ogadenya looga qaadi lahaa xasuuqa bani'aadanimada kabxsan. ONLF, iyaga oo aanan haysanin hub casri ah ayey haddna guulo waaweyn ka gaaraan badanaaba dagaalada ay kula jiraan cadowga Soomaliyeed iyagoo ka dhiga wax la dilay, wax la qabtey, iyo wax laga furteyba.

Hadaba waxaa isweydin leh, oo la hadal hayaa kuwan dabaqoodhiga la yiraahdo iyo waxa ay walaaqayaanba. dabqoodhigu waa kooxo tira ahaan yar hadana ka mid ah Ogadenka halkaa degan. Halkii la doonayey in ay ka qeyb qaataan jihaadka lagula jiro cadowga, ayeyba dalkoodii iibsadeen oo ay dabaqoodhi ama daba dhilif u noqdeen cadwoga Somaliyeed ee dadkooda har iyo habeenba xasuuqa.

Markii askarta Meles Zenaawi ay u waayeen tabar ay iskaga dhiciyaan mujaahidiinta ONLF ee xaq u dirirka ah ayey soo aruursadeen rag Ogadenka ka mid ahaa, gaar ahaan intii ugu caqli yareyd. Kadibna intii waxoogaa lacag ah jeebka loo galiyey, tuuto duug ahna loo galiyey, madaxna loo salaaxey, darajooyiin aan micno la heyna loo qorey, ayaa lagu yiri " war orda oo soo qab qabta Mujaahidiinta ONLF".

Waa yaabe ma dabaqoodhi ayaa soo qabqabanaya mujaahidiintii ONLF oo ka yaabisyey askartii Itoobiyaanka aheyd ee ugu xooga badan qaarada Africa. Wey ogaayeen dabaqoodhi ineysan ONLF la dagaalami karin ee waxey uun doonayaan iney helaan shilaamd ay qaad ama jaad ku cunaan qamrina ku cabaan.

Markii la arkey ineysan dabaqoodhi waxba qabaneynin oo ay qaad iska ruugayaan habeen iyo maalinba ayaa dhamaantood xerooyinka askarta lagu soo xareeyey oo loo furey tababar lagu xasuuqayo shacbka Ogadenya oonba awood u laheyn iney dagaalamaan.

Waxaa dabaqoodhi amar lagu siiyey iney soo qabqabtaan shacabka taageersan oo ONLF iyo cidii qaraabo la ahba. Dabqoodhi ayaa arintaas aad ugu farxey maadaama ay hadda heleen shaqo fiican oo sahlan. Kadibna waxey bilaabeen iney wadooyinka ka soo qab qabtaan dad masaakin ah oon waxba galabsan. Raggi aay soo qabtaan qaarna wey dilaan, qaarna xabsiyada laga buuxiyaa iyaga oon helin cid u dooda ama wax siisa.

Waxeyna si ba'an u kufsadaan haweenka ay ka tageen raggii la diley iyo kuwa xabsida ka buuxaba. Waxaase aad u layaab leh in dadkan ay dabaqoodhiga ay sidaa u xasuuqayaan ay ka mid yihiin reeraha ayba laftoodu ka dhasheen. dadka ay sidaa u xsauuqayaan ma ahan gaalo, ee waa dakoodii ewelba ku hoos noolaa cadowaga soomaliyeed oo si aan naxariis laheyn u xasuuqi jirey waayeel, haween, iyo caruurba.

Waxaa dabqoodhiyaasha hada madaxweyne looga dhigey nin la yiraahso Daa'uud Amxaar ood sawirkiisa kor ku aragtaan, isagoo isku sheega inuu yahey madaxweynaha somalida ee halkaas degata. Ninkan ayaa waxaa ilaahey u keenay cudur ba'an oo la garan waayey wuxuu yahey. Waxaa la yiri siduu u joogaba dhulka ayuu ku dhacaa oo uu qalalaa kadibna uu sida sac u ciyaa.

Isbitaal la geeyo awood uma leh Tigreena waxba kama galin ninkaas iyo caafimaad daradiisa. Sidaa awgeed ayaa waxey dabaqoodhiyaashu u qaadaan haweenka qurufaadk ah ee wax faaliya. Habeen iyo maalinba neef ari ah ayaa loo qalaa oo balaayo iyo jin baa lagu aqriyaa. waxaan la yiri wuuba ka sii darey oo dhowr nin baa lugaha ka qabata kolkii uu galgasho sida dameerada, isaga oo kolba kor iyo hoosba lugaha iyo madax isku qaraacya, dhuuso, hunqaaco, iyo calyaba isku qasaya. Markii urka iyo qaylidiisa loo adkeysan waayo ayaa waxaa lagu xiraa geed hoostiisa isaga oo ay waardiyeynayaa dhowr dabaqoodhi ah oo ay qaraabo yihiin.

Waxaa Daa'uud Amaxaar ka daran nin islamka ka baxey oo dadqalato ah laguna magacaabo Cabdi Iley oo ah nin madoow oo aad u fool xun, oo hadad aragtaan aad hunqaaceysid. Kolkaan aragney suuradiisa iyo muuqalkiisa xun ee uu illahey u abuurey ninkan ayaanu ka gaabsaney in sawirkiisa halkan ku soo daabacno. Cabdi iley nacald ha ku dhacdee waa nin dhulka Ogadenya ku caanbaxey inuu xasuuqo walaalhiisa Ogadenya isaga oo diley bololaal qof oo shacabka reer Ogadenya ah.

Markii askrta cadowaga ee Togreega ay arkeen sida uu ninkan dadqalato u yahey oo uu u leynayo shacabka Ogadenya ayey intey aad u farxeen waxey ka dhigeen taliyaya ciidanka nabadgalyda ee hoos tega Dauu'd Amxaar.

Cabdi Iley oo ah nin si aad ah looga cabsi qabo maadaama uu wato ciidan dabqoodhiyaal aad u badan ayuu wuxuu ku wareegaa dhamaan magaalooyinka iyo tuulooyinka shacbaka Ogadenya degan yihiin. Meeshuu tagaba wuxuu ku xasuuqaa dad rayid ah oo intuu meydkooda soo sawirto ayuu ula tagaa ciidanka Tigreega isagoo leh waa ONLF. Waxaaba ka siidaran inuu sawirada meydadka dadkaas uu soo xasuuqey inuu ku soo daabaco website uu cabdi iley leeyahey ee la yiraahdo eegga.com, isaga oo ku faanaya inuu soo diley ciidamad ONLF.

Waxaa hada na soo gaarey fariima sheegaya in askrta Meles Zenawi ka shakiyeen nikan cabdi Iley oo xoog xad dhaaf ah wata. Waxaa kaloo la sheegay in cabdi iley uu doonayo in uu talada madaxweynimada ku sheega uu ka xayuubsado Daa'uud Amxaar oo ah bukaan socoto marna garbaha lahayo marna geed lagu xiro oo aan waxba maamuli karin.

Si kastaba aruntu ha ahaatee, mar uun buu nikaasi u soo gacan geli gacanta shacbka Ogadenya ee uu xasuuqey lagana abaalmarin isaga iyo dabaqoodhiyaasha uu wataba dhiba ay u geysteen walaalhooda aan waxba galabsan. Da'uud Amxaar isaga Ilaahey ayaaba u keeney cudur xun oo kol dhow ayuu ku bakhtiyi geedka ay ku hoos xiraan.

Insha Allah shacbka Ogadenya ee dulmisan marbey guuleysan iyagoo halgankooda halkaas ka siiwadi doona, cagtna marin doona dabaqoodhiyaasha iyo cadowga ay u shaqeeyaanba. Guul mooyee gumeysi iyo dulmi dooni mayno. Dabaqoodhiyoow waxaad calooshaada u shaqeysatba, waxaad walaahaa xasuuqadaba, kolbaynu gacan bir ah kugu qaban laguna hor geyn shacabkii aad xasuuqdeen la idinkana abaalmarin. Aakhirana waxaa idiin danbeysa naarta jahanama halkas ood ku waaraysaan idinka iyo sheydaamiinta aad daba ordeyseenba.

OhAllah! Forgive Our Sins

To the Dearest, Most Merciful, The Most Compassionate, The Lord of the Universe, The Creator of the Seen and Unseen. Dear God: I kneel in this prayer to thank you. What matters to me is that with each year I grow older, I grow closer to you.

I thank you for allowing me to thank you, for this is a blessing in itself. And I thank you for blessing me with another year of my life. I am a year older but age is not what matters to me.

That with each year I grow older, I grow wiser with your Knowledge. That with each year, you elevate my levels in Paradise. That with each year, you bless me with the light of faith that illuminates the hearts of your beloved believers.

Dear God. With every anniversary of my birth I contemplate on why Your Holiness created me to be included in this world. And I came to learn that it is to know you. To worship you. And better yet, to love you. And I do love you Oh Lord. I love you and wish you love me. I wish for your mercy. I wish to be a better servant to you. For you deserve only the best.

I reflect on what I have been through the past whole year and I realise that through the calamaties that have befallen on me, you have blessed me with perspective. That with the problems I have faced, you have blessed me with experience, wisdom and knowledge. That with the illness I went through, you have blessed me with patience, strength of character and strong-will. That with the hardship I went through, you have blessed me with courage and determination. That with the challenges I went through, you blessed me with excellence, perfection and courtesy. That with the good bounties I have received, you blessed me with remembering charities. That by performing good deeds, you blessed me with even better things that I thank you for.

I have so much to thank for. Forgive me God if I forget the blessings you have blessed me with. Forgive me for my weaknesses and shortcomings. Forgive me. If I don’t have you, I am nothing. Keep me with you God. Please don’t turn away from me in my darkest moments.

As for this new year of my life that I have in front of me, I ask you to bless it with your mercy. I ask you to purify me. I ask you to bless me with an increase of emaan. I ask you to grant me success in my life in the things I do for your sake. I ask you to grant me success in my career. I ask you to grant me success in finding zoog saleh, kholoq wa deen.

The most I ask for is patience in the time of hardship. Good health in the time of illness. Wisdom in the time of challenges. Don’t leave me alone God. I am knocking on your door of mercy and I will not stop until it is answered…

I love you God. I thank you for bringing me to this world. And at the time of my death I will thank you for taking me away from it and bringing me back to you. For I miss you God. I’ve been away from you for so long…

This anniversary of my birth, I dedicate to you- a day filled with worship, supplications and charity.

Blessed am I that it falls in Ramadan.

For you I live. For you I love. I dedicate my whole life to you.

I’m free to do as I please

I am currently going through one of the most painful migranes I have ever encountered in my life. Today I was given another marriage dose from my grandmother in the morning. You’ll tell me that this is just talk. I’ll tell you that you haven’t met my grandmother.

If she says be, then it has to be. It’s been a month since my father’s aunt died. Going to her house to meet her family, we read the Qur’an in memory of her.

Some people believe that coming together to read the Qura’n in memory of a dead person is haram, or an innovation. I believe just coming together with the intention to want to have good, pious company along with remembering Allah by reading His Qur’an is not harmful, but rather a good deed. It all depends on your intentions. It also reminds you that death is not far away.

I sat there in the group, reading surat Yaseen and just thought of life and how quickly is all ends. But here is my grandmother, at 85, still being her usual jihad of the tongue kind of woman. In the gathernig she tells everyone that I am not yet married and that I MUST get married this year.

I look at her in amazement. There are only six months left for this year. Do they think I’m going to get a take-away marriage? I wish it was just talk. In their speech is venom. She also said she will find the bride for me. This is new talk. She’s never said that before. We know she is saying that because she believes my parents haven’t done a good job to find the right woman for me, otherwise I wouldn’t be single in what my relatives see as a terribly-old age to be single. I’m regarded as a boy, unless they save me by the end of the year.

Then she says that I will have my wedding in Qabridahare. my parent's hometown. All I do is sit there and laugh. My life seems to be set out for me, my dear readers. They will find me the bride, they will set the date for later this year and they will have the venue in Qabridahre. There is no talk of what I want, even when I do try to fight back with words that I don’t like their way, it falls on deaf ears. If this was said once, then I wouldn’t mind, really. But this talk is drummed into my ears continuously while I’m in their gathering. It must be brought up more than several times so that I get the message. What am I to tell them that will make them cease?

When I am to get married, I will be hearing how they wish my wife could give birth a girl soon. When she give birth to a girl, they will wish she had given birth to a boy and they will give examples of so-and-so who gave birth just last week to a set of twins boys. If she had given birth to a boy, they will tell me the Arabic saying ‘The one who didn’t give birth to a girl, didn’t give birth at all’. When my wife give birth to both, it will be about how well they are doing in school. When they have graduated, it will be about their marriage and how soon it will be and where. I’m sure I’ve left a few steps, by you get the general idea.

This kind of culture makes me think twice about living in Africa. Even though I do ignore it, when it becomes a sort of nagging voice in my ear that is constant, no matter how much I try to complain, then I know I wouldn’t be able to live with these sort of people around. Unless I cut them out of my life completely.

And I can’t do that since they are relatives, and as Muslims we are not to severe ties with our relatives. What a bummer. If only these people were actually looking forward to such events because of my happiness. No. It’s all to do with showing off and competition. Major migrane initialisers.

For next time, all I’m going to tell them is don’t worry about my life. I’m free to do as I please. If they continue, then I’m going to tell them that I’m doing a private wedding in a secret island and none of them are welcome except those who never gave me such a headache all for the sake of pressurising me. A celebrity in hiding, I’m acting as though these relatives are the paparazzi.

How many men and women go through this daily when they reach a certain age? How many men and women give into the pressure and marry losers just so they can get out of their misery- while they end up in a miserable marriage and divorce? I know I’m facing just a fraction of what other guys go through. Although we are in the year 2009, culture still ties us down.

But no more. We have a voice. We should use it. We should live life the way we want. Hand in hand, let’s get this show on the road brothers and sisters. Let’s give as good as we get.

I know I will.

I'm Free As You're

(This is my sister's story written to all muslim sister's around the world.) To whom it may concern; You may see me as oppressed by my religion. But with my hand on my heart, sincerely and honestly, this is just not true. My religion Islam liberated me and other women more than 1400 years ago.

Before Islam came, young girls were buried by their fathers because it was considered a disgrace to give birth to a daughter. Women were sold as property. Promiscuity was allowed; men had many mistresses and wives. Husbands even encouraged their wives to sleep with certain strong, handsome men so that she may get pregnant with a son who would have the same characteristics. Women were looked upon as sexual objects. In Arabia, women would wear scarves tied behind their necks, so that their beautiful necks and bosoms would show.

When Islam came, it protected and liberated me. It told me to place my hijab over my neck and bosoms so that I may be known as a modest woman, that way no one could harass or look at me as a sexual object. When I walk by, no one looks at my bottom or bosoms because I have covered them. I feel great that I am not regarded as a piece of meat!

When Islam came, I was no longer subjected to being buried in the earth whilst alive, the last face my eyes would see were my father as the sand he dug over my head suffocated me into an eternal sleep. When Islam came, I could walk around freely without fearing being attacked or abused in any way, because I knew men would lower their gaze and respect me to go about my own business, whether it be working, buying items in the market or travelling long distances to other villages.

When Islam came, I had the right to vote and to discuss political and social matters. I was allowed to join the army and fight alongside the men to protect ourselves from attackers. I was no longer to be forced into arranged marriages. I could inherit money, although my brothers would take a larger share, but I know it is because they are the providers of a household and would need more money than me. When Islam came, I was allowed to work and keep the money for myself. My husband is not allowed to take my personal savings. I can spend the money as I wish.

Most importantly, when Islam came, I was considered an equal to man. Men do not have a greater advantage than women to go to heaven. We are both given the same opportunities. There is no gender favouritism.

When I get married, I can write conditions in my marriage contract. If I don’t want my husband to marry another wife, I have the right to state this and have it fulfilled. My husband cannot get married again without my permission. I can ask for a divorce if he goes against my wishes. Neither is my husband or any male member of my family allowed to beat me or treat me harshly. The Prophet taught men to have excellent manners with their wives. God told us to be forgiving, so even if someone had committed a sin, if they had truly repented, then in the Qur’an God says to let them be.

I’m also allowed to ask for divorce, even if the reason is simply because I don’t love the man.

When Islam came, I could start to read and write. Seeking knowledge is so important in our religion. Not just that, but teaching the knowledge we gain is equally as important. Education is stressed for both women and men.

What I also love the most is the manners that come with our religion. Manners is the core of Islam. To be kind, polite, courteous, helpful, are all characteristics we should have. When Islam came, neighbours forgave each other, relatives restored their broken ties, husbands and wives had beautiful relationships with each other, children were kind to their parents. People were kind to not only other people and animals, but to the environment around them.

This is what Islam has given me. To be a good human being. To look after the people of the earth and to look after the earth itself. No matter what religion you are from. There is no hatred between tribes, religions nor sects. We are required to live together peacefully with the common thing we share: we are all human.

When you hear that I am oppressed, when you hear of stories that I am beaten, illiterate, humiliated, this is not from my religion. It is from the culture and old ways of men and women who can’t let go and join the liberation of religion.

I know that Muslim women and men who read this will also tell you many more beautiful blessings that I have not included.

When you say that I need feminists to free me from this religion, Islam has already freed me long ago. But it is the chains of patriarchy and culture that ruins our lives. If we return to the true teachings of Islam, of how women lived peacefully and successfully in the times of the Prophet and his followers, you will see that Islam is innocent of all that it is associated with in recent times.

I am not oppressed.

I don’t need to be freed from my own religion by you.

Indeed culture and patriarchy are the enemies.

Islam freed me long ago.
Wasalaam
By Ayaan, your sister in Islam

Be Yourself Sometimes

Many Somali single women and men are not really single. In their minds they constantly day dream about the perfect one who will soon rescue them from their tower of loneliness. Some women and men have never experienced some time alone. Real time alone.

Where you take yourself out on a date, alone, to treat yourself. Where you celebrate being ‘you’, an individual with accomplishments, with future dreams, with present desires. This is a challenge for us all; to embrace being single for a day, a week, whatever it takes. Take a break from your relationship, take a break from daydreaming about your future prince or queen. It’s time to live in the now.

It may be hard for you to visualise what exactly is required of you. How do you exactly become single? When you break free of all the demands made on you by life. When you take an hour, a day, a week if you can afford, to be comfortable in your own skin. To recognise that you are an individual, you are not part of a package that has the stamp ‘this belongs to prince charming and co’.

Take yourself out on a date. Just you and yourself. Plan it, just like you would spend hours planning it on the person you love. The person you should love is yourself. Be excited while planning. You probably haven’t really had this alone time for ages. Even if you are single, we often spend great moments thinking, ‘if only he or she was here to share it with me’. Well let’s forget about prince/ss charming for a bit. Let’s remember ourselves. Let’s focus on ourselves. We deserve it, don’t we?

The date can be a day out with your friends, just having fun and spoiling yourself. Or it can be a lovely warm bubble bath with candles. It can be you putting on make-up and a lovely outfit and just dancing around to some music. It can be you meditating or praying. It can be anything you want. But you have to feel happy with yourself. You have to love yourself. Just switch off and be you. Men can wait, can’t they? Switch your phones off, and relax with who you are. Get to know yourself again. You’ve been buried under a tonne of social-pressure-dust. It’s time to uncover yourself to yourself.

It’s up to you how long you want to do this for. An hour for those who are married, a few days for those who are single. To just switch off mentally and stop thinking about others or how others will save us. We are our own heroes. We can save ourselves. And we will come out of this experience refreshed, recharged, confident in our own skins, sure of who we are and what we stand for.

And we deserve this time out. It’s time to live for us. To enjoy being with our selves. To just simply be.

Now, who will celebrate with me? Come on! farta taaga yaakhey, nooh!

My Blog is My Home

I will never forget the wise words a blogger once told me: “Jaakoole, people who comment on your blog should know it is a privilege, not a right.” Funnily enough, some people are ignorant of this, thinking that a blog is a country and with it comes freedom of speech.

But this is completely false. A blog is like a home. You would not expect me to come into your home(gurigaaga) and say hurtful, inappropriate words. You’d kick me out because it is your home and no one should treat you like that in your own home! You would expect me to knock on your door and wait for you to invite me into your home. You would expect me to respect you and your property in the duration of my visit, sow ma ahan.

It’s the same with a blog. It’s a person’s online home. The blog owner decides who can come inside and comment. If the blogger doesn’t want a comment to appear on their blog and if they choose not to respond to a certain comment, then it’s their choice, they haven’t done anything wrong. It’s their property and some people shouldn’t be trespassing.

Why some people choose to write hurtful, unsympathetic, inappropriate comments and expect them to be published, is beyond me. And why they get angry because their comment hasn’t appeared and then threaten the blog owner to publish their comment otherwise write nasty things about them on the internet is quite bizarre. Yaab dheh.

There are unwritten rules to posting a comment on a person’s blog. One should be courteous. One should not write inappropriate comments that are off topic. One should not attack the blog owner or their intelligence. And if one wrote something that offended the blog owner, then one should have the decency to apologize. A person should think before they comment, otherwise face the consequences of having their comment ignored.

Ultimately, having comments on a blog promotes healthy dialogue between different people. But one must understand that blog owners have to preserve their blog’s quality. They will not publish every single comment, just like a newspaper will not publish every single letter received. Because some comments are regarded as spam, those ridiculous comments that don’t deserve to be published. It will amount to blog chaos if such a thing happened, and an unhealthy atmosphere will infest the blog and even cause it to self-destruct.

Like trolls, a term for people who like to cause trouble on blogs. They are little invaders who like to ruin the success of a blog, probably because they are envious that another blog is more successful than their own. Other trolls write strange comments, trying to provoke the blog owner, so that they are noticed and in turn attract readers to their own blog.

In some cases a blog owner is so scared to be called a suppressor of freedom of speech, that they will, out of ignorance, publish a troll’s comment, which causes more harm than good. Blog owners should know that they actually have the choice, the right, to throw it in the spam folder and not even have to explain why they chose to do so. They can ignore it completely and not even have to read it.

If a person’s comment hasn’t appeared on a blog, before criticizing the blog owner and ranting on about how unfair they are, think about the fact that it is their blog. They have the right to keep it a safe, peaceful haven, free from verbal diarrhea. And sometimes the comments are caught in the spam folder without the blogger’s knowledge, so it is unfair for the commentator to jump to conclusions.

There are many instances where a blogger must make decisions whether or not to publish a comment if they are serious about preserving their blog and promoting healthy dialogue. At the end of the day it’s not to be taken personally- those who do take it personally and go on a vendetta against the blogger are not only childish and narrow-minded, but also seem to have a lot of free time on their hands.

So while visiting blogs, it’s good to remember that we are in someone’s “online home”, we should treat it with respect. Because it’s their blog- their choice. They decide.

I'm Not Muslim (Obama)

Yet again the word “Muslim” has been smeared across news sites and -not surprisingly- it isn’t good news. It was a shock to read the outcry received from rumours that Democrat Barack Hussain Obama, running in the 2008 Presidential elections, is a Muslim.

Like an instant knee-jerk reaction, Obama pulled up his hands and swore the rumours were false, assuring everyone he wasn’t from the Muslim faith.

“I think it ’s very important for people not to buy into the kinds of dirty tricks that we’ve become so accustomed to in our politics, and people need to understand I’m not and never have been of the Muslim faith,” he told CBN’s David Brody.

The latest political smear-campaign is a means to create fear and apprehension in the American public. The scene is all too similar to rumours calling a public figure a homosexual or even a patient with a contagious, fatal disease. The word “Muslim” now falls in line with those dark labels, with Obama frantically trying to reassure his voters that he is a “committed Christian”.

It’s not a concern that Obama is a committed Christian, this is his belief and it must be respected. What isconcerning is the fact that someone chose the word “Muslim” to ruin Obama’s reputation, probably because of ties to his Kenyan background which led to his middle name “Hussain”. But in truth Obama was never a Muslim and was baptised at an early age.

Still, does this recent political smear-campaign against Obama reflect the strong Islamophobia tendencies the majority of Americans have and the confusion they have between ‘radical Islam’ and the true, peaceful Islam?

Interesting to note, whoever is spreading these rumours could have said that Obama was a drug dealer, or an alcoholic, or even a serial killer. But they opted to attack his religious beliefs, knowing well that the public would turn against him for being a Muslim, because it takes no genius to know that Islam is not on the American public favourite list.

Taking a diplomatic stance, Obama does not disrespect the 6-8 million American Muslims with his speech; he clearly needs their votes. He told reporters: “I think that those who are of the Muslim faith are deserving of respect and dignity, but to try and feed into this fear-mongering and try to question my faith commitments and my belief in Jesus Christ, I think is offensive,” Obama also said. “And I want to make sure that people are absolutely clear about what’s going on with this, and if they get another one of these e-mails that they’re deleting it and letting their friends know that it’s nonsense.”

Is there a written rule that the President-elect cannot be from a certain faith? Not according to this: “No religious test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or Public Trust under the United States.” (The Constitution of the United States of America, Article 6). Furthermore Section 4 of Article I of the Constitution of Pennsylvania, written in its original form by Benjamin Franklin and others state: “No person who acknowledges the being of a God and a future state of rewards and punishments shall, on account of his religious sentiments, be disqualified to hold any office or place of trust or profit under this Commonwealth.”

So what is all the fuss about? The fact that the majority of Americans see Islam as a threat to global security and do not want an insider, their very own president, to be associated with that world.

Whatever the consequences of these rumours, it is evident that the word “Muslim” is on the American blacklist and it is to be avoided like the plague. The latest tactic to destroy Obama’s reputation just proves that Islamophobia is on the rise, with moderate Muslims looking on and feeling disheartened that so many have misunderstood their peaceful, hijacked religion.