Many Somali single women and men are not really single. In their minds they constantly day dream about the perfect one who will soon rescue them from their tower of loneliness. Some women and men have never experienced some time alone. Real time alone. Where you take yourself out on a date, alone, to treat yourself. Where you celebrate being ‘you’, an individual with accomplishments, with future dreams, with present desires. This is a challenge for us all; to embrace being single for a day, a week, whatever it takes. Take a break from your relationship, take a break from daydreaming about your future prince or queen. It’s time to live in the now.
It may be hard for you to visualise what exactly is required of you. How do you exactly become single? When you break free of all the demands made on you by life. When you take an hour, a day, a week if you can afford, to be comfortable in your own skin. To recognise that you are an individual, you are not part of a package that has the stamp ‘this belongs to prince charming and co’.
Take yourself out on a date. Just you and yourself. Plan it, just like you would spend hours planning it on the person you love. The person you should love is yourself. Be excited while planning. You probably haven’t really had this alone time for ages. Even if you are single, we often spend great moments thinking, ‘if only he or she was here to share it with me’. Well let’s forget about prince/ss charming for a bit. Let’s remember ourselves. Let’s focus on ourselves. We deserve it, don’t we?
The date can be a day out with your friends, just having fun and spoiling yourself. Or it can be a lovely warm bubble bath with candles. It can be you putting on make-up and a lovely outfit and just dancing around to some music. It can be you meditating or praying. It can be anything you want. But you have to feel happy with yourself. You have to love yourself. Just switch off and be you. Men can wait, can’t they? Switch your phones off, and relax with who you are. Get to know yourself again. You’ve been buried under a tonne of social-pressure-dust. It’s time to uncover yourself to yourself.
It’s up to you how long you want to do this for. An hour for those who are married, a few days for those who are single. To just switch off mentally and stop thinking about others or how others will save us. We are our own heroes. We can save ourselves. And we will come out of this experience refreshed, recharged, confident in our own skins, sure of who we are and what we stand for.
And we deserve this time out. It’s time to live for us. To enjoy being with our selves. To just simply be.
Now, who will celebrate with me? Come on! farta taaga yaakhey, nooh!
I started celebrating. lol
ReplyDeleteReally it is very good post. Spc for women. Most women have very dependent personality. (or they want to have) They think they can’t be happy if some friends, husband, family or others dont be around them.
That’s why they always seek to find someone, for not to be alone. They nag of being alone. But really the nature of human being is loneliness, and sometimes he needs to come back to himself, to find out who he is, to appriciate himself and know his good and bad characters.
Mountains are together and alone. Similiar to humans, together and alone..
Happy celebrating, alone thanks yaah abaaowe
We are our own heroes”
ReplyDeleteindeed. i really do feel sad when i see women thinking that men are there saviours for everything, and aren’t happy unless they are dreaming/talking/considering marriage. i guess it’s just the society we live in, from fairy tales to modern day movies.