Hey guys how does one deal with looking bad? I mean I just have a hard time dealing with the fact that I look ugly. Do you think any sort of treatments help? Does anyone else have a similar experience where they just feel like crap because they can't deal with their physical appearance? Infact it's so damn depressing that I just hate myself so much and wonder why I was born and why god does this to people Infact it's so damn depressing that I just hate myself so much and wonder why I was born and why god does this to people. People think I look like a terrorist or something like that (because of my eyebrows and my nose)...and when I'm on the metro...I get these wierd stares from everyone (horribly excruciating negative attention as I interpret it)...I just have no idea what to do with myself...life seems too depressing every day. Damn xegeen ku dhuntaa.
I'm not hideous. But I'm not physically attractive either. So I don't attract much attention from the fairer sex. I have to work really hard to get noticed by using my wit and sense of humor. Now you might say that these personality traits are ultimately more important than looks. And I agree with you. But if a girl can't see past my apperance, how can I put those secondary characteristics to work for me?
That's the dilema. Now, I've had girlfriends before. These have been girls that I got to know very well first, as friends. They liked that I was smart and funny. But had I met them at a party, or a bar or something and approached them and started talking to them, I don't think I would have gotten very far.
In a setting like that, the initial attraction is almost entirely physical. How do you get past that? If you're at least moderately good looking, you can approach someone, strike up a conversation, buy someone a sweet drink. If you're not good looking, and you lack confidence because of that, you're just going to be nervous and awkward. And even if you have the confidence, you're chance of success are significantly less.
Ever see those news shows like Dateline and 60 minutes? Every once in a while they'll do an experiment. They'll have some supermodel walk around on the street and see if people will open doors for her. Or she'll drop a stack of papers, and people will stop and help her.
In the second round of the experiment, however, they dress her in dull colored loose fitting clothes that don't reveal her figure, and they'll use make up effects to give her a big nose, a scar, and crooked teeth. In this condition, she gets a lot less help. Fewer people open doors for her, if any. Fewer help her pick up her stack of papers.
The solution is simple. Find a mate who can see past physical appearance, and then work hard to help them see you're more attractive traits. But that is much easier said than done, because it seems that people like that are quite rare. I think that most people, when asked, don't consider physical appearance to be more important than personality. But when it comes down to choosing a mate, they're choices aren't always consistent with that preference.
Just something I've noticed and been victim too repeatedly over the last two years. I try not to be bitter. Damn I look ugly, I can't belive. Hehe where I can find abaayo foolxum, or an ugly girl. Don't laugh at me you guys. because some of you are ugly too. Come on baby, and give me a hug.
I think that you are handsome,don't pay so much attention to people, its their problem if they think that you are a terrorist cause of your eyebrows!!! as for you, do some change , just trim your eyebrows and try adifferent hair style, only to make you feel better,good luck.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, you are NOT ugly. You are actually cute. I understand what you may be feeling about the staring though, it's because some people think that all people that have a middle eastern look are terrorists. I'm sorry you have to go through that. Don't change your look for anyone but yourself though. If you don't like bushy eyebrows, trim them down, get them waxed or whatever. From now on if people stare, just look them in the eye, smile really big, and ask them how they are doing. It will probably make them feel like.
ReplyDeleteYou're funny walaahi Jaakoole. You're the most handsome guy I ever seen.
I know exactly how you feel. It's a catch. How do you build confidence without experience? And how do you approach girls if you aren't good looking? These are just the rules of the dating game.
ReplyDeleteIf you understand the rules and learn to play by them, you will find yourself more successful with the opposite sex. I was lucky to be born into wealth and every girl can smell money. I'm not good-looking either, but now I use money as my carrot. Figure out what you can use as YOUR carrot and develop confidence around it.
I have a friend that is tall and pretty good looking, but he never gets any girls because all he does it talk about them and never takes any action. If you sit on the sidelines and never ask them to dance, you will never end up dancing with any girls.
Any way, that picture isn't you, xaaji Jaakoole, and please stop playing games on the minds Somali ladies who doesn't like ugly guys. Girls who doesn't know you by person will take this one seriously and think you're ugly, but you're not.