A Letter To My Online Lover

Walaal, it is hard to understand why you romantically like me, although we have never met. It can be flattering, to have an admirer, but it is complicated on the Internet. You see, it’s not me you really like, it’s the idea you have of me. All I am to you is words on a screen. intaa uun baad igu jeclatey miyaa, walaal. A true story of Somali girl who once was my Online Lover.

I edit these words. Sometimes I may hide how I am really feeling. My true self is not shown. I don’t discuss much of my personal life. There are many things I choose not to discuss. You may have many things in common with me, you may feel an attraction, but it is all in your mind.

On the Internet our imaginations are left to make up for what we can’t see. We build on words, fantasising how lovely this special person is. How wonderful they would be as a husband or wife. We create a world that does not exist. And we end up hurt and alone.

Walaal, I’m not being cruel, I’m just giving realistic advice. You can meet wonderful people on the Internet, for sure, but to have romantic feelings for someone without meeting them, to be romantically attached to someone, that is difficult for me to believe in. Sure, people have met on the Internet and gelled conversation-wise and then met in real life where they got to know each other all over again and then began a relationship. But romantically liking or even loving someone on the Internet before meeting them, believing they can be a good husband or wife, how can that be? Ma Ogi walaahi

You don’t know how I laugh. You don’t know how I sit. You don’t know how I smile. You don’t know how I look like when I talk. You don’t know if I laugh like a hyena to the point where it disgusts you. You don’t know if I’m ugly or obese. You don’t even know if I’m your type. You don’t know if you will be attracted to me when you actually meet me. We may have nothing to say to each other in real life. You don’t know how I am when I get angry. You don’t know how my voice sounds. You don’t know if I have a third eye tucked in my face somewhere. You just don’t know who I really am. Maba i taqaanid maxaad ii jeclaatey toloow

If you say you have seen my picture and heard my voice, I’d still say how do you know you like me? You’ve never met me. You’ve never spoken to me in a realistic setting, face-to-face, where we can talk to each other and see if anything clicks, if there is the possibility of building a relationship.

If you tell me that other people have had relationships on the Internet and then met each other and continued, I’d tell you that is a rare event. It doesn’t happen to everyone, and I doubt it could happen to us, simply because I do not believe in investing all my energy in someone I have never met. Someone I may completely dislike when I meet them. Someone I may want to avoid in the future.

You see Walaal, you just don’t know on the Internet. I may sound nice and delicate through my words, but I may be totally and completely different in real life. saa weeye walaal

Sometimes when we spend a lot of time alone, or we are stressed out with work, we begin to create an alternate reality on the Internet, where we may spend a lot of our time. We put so much energy into an idea that doesn’t exist; you romantically liking someone you have never met. Then in the end you are either hurt or you are dissapointed. Sorry Yaakhey

So Walaal, I don’t want you to get hurt. Anaylse your thoughts once more and realise that you are chasing dreams that don’t exist. If it sounds like harsh advice, then I am sorry. Sometime it’s better to be cruel to be kind. Sow ma ahan walaal

In the long run, you’ll thank me. waad mahadsantahay walaal ee aan wada kulano marka hore, sow ma fiicna abaayo.